焦仲卿johnny (j ) 刘兰芝lunch (l) 焦母johnny’s mother (j m ) 刘母lunch’s mother (l m) 太守之子mayor’on (m s f) 强盗burglars (a b and c)
prologue 序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪) j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you! 译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care.i only want she to be tender than me.but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! 译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j) my god! who can help me?(下) 译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？
act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状) jm(拄拐棍上):i can! (对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but……
jm:never interrupt me! l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all daylong,cooking and washing.i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson! l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son.i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下) act2 (lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上) l:mum, i’m back! lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l:but,mum…… lm:never interrupt me! l:mum,i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下) l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅 铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下) act3 (j睡眼惺忪上) j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty! (突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)this is what lunch always wears! i mi her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet? j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone! jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is susele.lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back! j(立正敬礼):yes madam! act4 (j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) a:hey you!stop and listen to us! the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚) ab&c:give us all your money! j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) a:what bad luck! this guy is broken! b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight! c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry mi liulanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding! a&b:good idea! j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impoible! ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple! j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b:have you got any experience? j:no.but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (j和三强盗跃至台中) abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us! a:the road is built by me! b:and i planted one tree.c:if you want to go by this street--- j:give us all your money! (l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头) l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后) (ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒) j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去） (j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms) (j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you? l(哭状):i hurt a lot! j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下) l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)
题目：唐伯虎点秋香剧情： 三花痴在街上游走。 花痴1：it is so boring ! 花痴2：yes, it is ! 花痴3：we have nothing to do ! 花痴1：look, the four are there! 四大才子出场 花痴2：！it is them !it is them!it is really them! 花痴3：how handsome they are !how charming they are !I am dizzying! 尖叫！四大才子秀舞。 祝枝山：I am the most handsome man in the world,and I have as much money as mouation! 文征明：I am so attractive that each girl will fall in love with me at the first sight!(抛媚眼) 尖叫声不断 徐峥卿：I am so charming that no one can compare with me ! 唐伯虎：Do you love me ? have you heard my name before? Tangbo hu is me !（尖叫
。。。。。） 文征明： Hi ,guy !today all of us are in a good mood! how about trying some English tounge twist! 祝枝山：Good idea ! brother wen ,you first please!绕口令 Peter pepper picked up a peck of pickled peppers .Did peter pepper pick up a peck of pickled peppers.If peter picked up a peck of pickled peppers ,Where is the peck of pickled peppers peter pepper picked up!（乱成一团） 唐伯虎：haha 突然大笑） 三人： Is that so funny ? 文征明： Why do you so happy today ,bohu ! 唐伯虎：Because madam hua have promised me to marry qiu xiang .(做可爱状) Ha Ha.However ,I will try my best to get her . 祝枝山：since you have made up you mind, we will use our wisdom to help you !四人信心满满一起 去了华府。 华文挡在前说：,stop! If you can give me the answer to my question ,I will let you go! 祝枝山：haha ,you are scaring us ,we fear nothing !come on come on! 华虎 ：listen carefully! There are three gecko on the wall, a gecko accidentally fell down, why then the other two gecko also drop off? 三大才子狂翻书道：why ,why ?(三才子狂翻书，疑惑不解大叫) 唐笑了笑说：Because the back two gecko has won the applause they fell down. 三大才子大笑;ha ha ,go away!
华府内 秋象正在绣闺里打扮，自言自语道：oh ,bo hu ,my honey ,why don”t you come and marry me yet! I love you so much ! I wanna be with you !you are my mr right! 唐伯虎到了内厅：
秋香到：oh ,dear ,you are here now ,I am so happy ! I can marry you now ! 华夫人：Tang Bohu, although I promised you to marry Qiu-xiang , but there are conditions,can you pick out qiuxiang from the 3three rides! （婚礼大堂，3新娘盖着红盖头） 华文：(please refer to the list of rules)the period of the game is that of the burnout of a stick of incense.一、do not cro the yellow line to watch over the bride while playing the game。
二、all the brides-to-be should keep quiet,or you will be pa.三、no help is allowed to touch the clothes or the body of the bride.华夫人：if you can not pick out qiuxiang ,you lose .one of my two sons will marry to qiuxiang ! 唐伯虎：wa ! ,why there are so many brides here! Madam ,you wanna play game with me ,right? 华夫人：Why do you say like that ? 唐伯虎;as a gentleman, for the sake of my conscience,i\'ve been devoted to Qiuxiang ever since,and i will never regret it! Why you have baffled me time and time again?I will take qiuxiang away,who can stop me ! 华夫人：Try it !if you wanna make troubles here ,I will tell empor to kill your whole family!唐伯虎： You old witch ,cold blood! mean !despicable and shamele! 华夫人：You called me a witch? ! Die!（扔东西） 唐伯虎：I returned it to you!（扔回去） 华夫人： OUCH , I can not spare you ! 唐伯虎： Come on ,come on ! 华太师：Stop! Qiuxiang is a member of our family!if you wanna marry her ,you should follow our rules.唐伯虎：Ok ,I will try my best!i won \'t give up until I marry to qiuxiang ! 华夫人；That stick of incense has been put out quickly, 唐伯虎深情款款的念诗：The furthest distance in the world is not when I stand in front of you Yet you can\'t see my love But when undoubtedly knowing the love from both Yet cannot be together（一准新娘身子动了动） 华文： Times up! 唐伯虎：oh ,I see, ,qiuxiang（掀开准新娘的面具，竟然是石榴姐！） 唐伯虎：oh ,my god !what are you doing ,do you have a knife ! 石榴姐： What is up ? 唐伯虎： I wanna kill myself! 唐伯虎：Let me die ,let me die ….唐伯虎被误刺了一刀 秋香：what is wrong with you ,bohu ?(怒对华府人)you kill him ,I hate you !go out !go out!怀里抱着伯虎：Being with you is like walking on a very clear morning.Take away love, and my life is a tomb.Our Love never dies.I need you just like I need the air to breathe.i can not live without
you ! I will follow you (拔出刀欲自杀发现刀是 可收缩的) 唐伯虎：oh, I still alive ,we can be together now ! 两人相拥跳舞！谢场！
三打白骨精的英文剧本，我演过，相当成功，（人物可删减的） 人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map! E: (摸出，递给S) S: Look,master (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E) T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you! E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回) T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But…… T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map? E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig! E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)? E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm! T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food? E: You see ,master is hungry,too! T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal! J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看) E: This is…..? S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it! T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power! S: Bye!(走) T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1) B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you? T: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb! T: Bomb?(打出) B1: Double King! T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand.Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门) S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打) B1: (倒)Ah…… T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher! S: She is a monster! T: Nonsense!(深呼吸) S: Oh,please don’t…… T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱) S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头) T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you! B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a leon!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter? T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T) J: Look,(伸食指)how many? T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3) B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打) T: (想阻止，未及)You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!! S: (悲，离去)(音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》 E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch! Don\'t mention that guy any more! B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T: (惊)You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退) B: (抓住T)I\'ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong? E: Oh,Brother Monkey! J: Our hero is back! T: I,I can\'t understand......What happened?S : Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you! T: How,how did you find out? : (沉默).......Monkey\'s intuition(直觉) N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal? S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I\'ve called the police.N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B) T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I\'m sorry(小声) S: What? T: I\'m sorry.S: Em? Louder,please? T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏) T: Let\'s go guys!( 歌) S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah......Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on.You wonder where the road is.The road is under your feet.
