新守株待兔 [开始。树)上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演走到台前] 导演：Action![跑下台] [农夫冷酷地上。] 农夫：I’m a farmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]A modern farmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头，继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看，收起]!So I’m rich now![开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look!This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250!This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this?痒痒挠?No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~!![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作，锄了两下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台，把没用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台] 树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，边做边唱：哼哼哈西!!!]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉!Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台] [兔子A上] 兔子A(一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦，所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼)：Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U!The name of the song is 《发如雪》![清清嗓子正要唱，这时候导演(范冰)上] 导演：[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine!(很兴奋地拿着下场) 兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit.I just had my breakfast.Now I’m just walking around here.I think walking after meals is good for my health.[在场上转圈，悠闲散步] [农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子] 农夫：(惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走] [农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。] 兔子A：Wahhhh~!(吓一跳)What’s this! 农夫：Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来(农夫一开始把枪对着自己)] 农夫：Thank you! 兔子A：My pleasure.(突然想起来农夫要杀自己) Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前] 农夫：Where~ to go? Haha! [农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。] 兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me! 树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后] [兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现] 农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来] 兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地] 农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边] ……
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? 树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望，看到农夫的手机] [兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开，走到手机前看了看]咦?What’s this?[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile!Maybe I can call some one to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机] But how to use it??? 树：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,pre this button![给兔子] 兔子A：Oh I see.[做出打电话的样子] 喂? 李咏：[上台，激情澎湃地] Hello!This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong!Now let’s start our first question!What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正? A.Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please! 兔子A：(很冷漠地)Sorry， wrong number.[挂掉] 李咏：Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂?喂喂?[很郁闷地下台] 兔子A：Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂? 兔子B：喂? 兔子A：Hey Jackey! 兔子B：Hey tommy! 兔子A：How are you doing? 兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U? 兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents doing? 兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U? 兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing? 兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U? 兔子A：He’s fine , too!
兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!! 兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!! 兔子B：But where are you? 兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you? 兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you! 兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开] [兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上] 兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上，昏眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了]
