英语作文:说句心里话
第二节：短文写作（共1题；满分30分）
“Beijing plans to reduce the English section of National College Entrance Examination, the Gaokao, from 150 points to 100 points by 2016.” 请依据上面这则新闻，结合实际，用英语写一篇短文，谈谈你对英语学习的认识，并简单陈述你的理由。
注意：①无须写标题，不得照抄英语提示语； ③文中不得透露个人姓名和学校名称；
说句心里话①
襄阳市２０１４届第一次统考英语网上阅卷感想 说句心里话 我也想给你高分
但文不对题 事例不典型② 给你高分公理不允 说句实在话你常训练
心中要有(那个)作文的模式 作文的模式 来来来来来既然来写作 来来来就知怎么写
首段解题 中段切题 末段结题③ 经典三段要牢记
说句心里话 我也想给你高分
②除诗歌外，文体不限； ④词数为120左右。 但词不达义 句不连贯 给你高分有失公平
说句实在话你常练习完成句子
心中要有(那个)正确句子结构 出彩句的基本句式 来来来来来既然来写作 来来来就知优秀作文的基本要素 学会使用高级词语 三个不多五个不少④ 学会运用复杂句式 三句不少五句嫌多⑤
牢记作文模板⑥ 功在平时 利在高考 确保２０分 借鉴优秀作文 写出真情实感 争取２４分
说句心里话 你也不傻
但为何卷面不整洁 字迹潦草 说句实在话我也有同情心 但没耐心 你马马虎虎写 我马马虎虎阅⑦ 二档三档快速点 来来来来来话虽这样说 来来来练好字才是硬道理 照字贴一笔一画练 在英语本上规规矩矩练 在试卷上工工整整写 书写工整美观清晰 练好字确保得高分 备注：
1.１２月２９日，在市三中阅完英语９００多份作文，我深有感触，我想对同学们说句心里话。三档作文（１３－１８分）所占比例很大，但也不乏２０分甚至２４分以上的作文，下面选取１６篇优秀作文供同学们欣赏、背诵、模仿，除个别少数的同学具有英语语言天赋，既能从作文范文中吸收高分作文的应具备的要素，又能从阅读短文中模仿、借鉴优秀作文应具备的语言的地道性和鲜明的个性。大多数同学是靠高三严格的训练，无外乎在三个方面：内容、语言和书写，下面从这三个方面来分析这１６篇作文。 2.有些同学第一段和第三段自己写，中间一段写的是事先背诵的短文，甚至抄阅读短文，所以文不对题，一经发现，就判为低分或零分。 3.对近几年湖北省高考作文题，采用三段来写已经为绝大多数考生所接受，也为大多数阅卷老师所认可。第一段直入主题，用一句长句，或两三句点题，解释题义，即解题；第二段例举事例，用事例阐明主题，这一段是记叙，也是阅卷老师评判的重点，想得高分的同学们一定要重视这一段的描述、记叙。记叙一般要遵循记叙文叙事的基本程序：发生、发展、高潮和结局。第三段与第一段照应，首尾呼应，升华主题。 4.一篇作文就能决定一个考生的语言基本功，这基本功集中反映在高级词语和复杂句式的使用上，下面例举１６篇优秀作文中高级词语和复杂句式使用的情况：
高级词语：象１号作品中，Eventually, I made a marvelous acquaintance in my study and achieved my goal.象３号作品中，There is a consensus among us that--- The goal functioned as an alarm that reminded him to work hard, 象４号作品中，My study was in an arbitrary condition where all the efforts were in vain.I swallowed the bitter fruit as a consequence of my hopele practice.--- One of the recipes for succe is setting a goal and sparing no efforts to achieve it.象５号作品中，It is no exaggeration to say that---- , embrace a bright future, 象６号作品中，As has been illustrated above, 象７号作品中，It’s self-evident that---, I’m fully convinced that---, embrace a promising future,象９号作品中，It’s an indisputable fact that---, which can arouse our motivations to---, priority is supposed to be given to setting a goal, 象１２号作品中，which allows you to excavate your superiority---, 象１４号作品中，The absence of a goal did harm to my study, making me have a slim chance to rank first in my cla.象样卷中，illustrate my illumination, ---but bombed on his first exam---, Not withstanding, he was so determined that nothing could weaken his resolve.Harvest his final succe, 等等。 ⑤复杂句式： 1.并列句（and, but ,so, not only ---but also ）：
２号中，I was not as hard as before, and my grades became behind others’.
Generally speaking, a goal is important for us, and every one of us need to set a goal for themselves to guide them in the right direction.3号中，Set a goal, work hard and you’ll succeed.6号中，As a consequence, not only did Nick make his own career take off, but also he spread the great spirit to those in need, gaining people’s recognition.９号中，Without a goal, never will we succeed in the competitive society, nor will we have enough motivations to make our dreams come true.2.复合句（主语从句、宾语从语、表语从句、同位语从句）
１号作品中，What we can learn from the experience is that a goal prevents us from being at a lo and being washed away by the flood of the times.3号作品中，All of us held a view that he wouldn’t be admitted to an excellent university, whatever great efforts he made.9号作品中，There was no doubt that my study got worse and worse.１２号作品中，There is no denying that he achieved a lot, enjoyed much glory and won much respect.3.其它类从句（定语从句、状语从句）
1号作品中，There was a time when my mind always wandered in cla, which resulted in my failure in many exams.2号作品中，When I was a middle school student, I studied very hard to meet the requirements my parents set for me, as a result of which , I always got high marks.3号作品中，When asked the secret of how to make such great progre, he said it was his setting a goal that motivated him to put all his strength to studying.13号作品中，I was aware that once you had a goal in your mind, there is no doubt that you will spare no efforts to pursue it and to achieve it no matter how tough it is. 4.非谓语动词
9号作品中，Never thinking of setting a goal, I gradually lost my interest in studying.5号作品中，Confused and frustrated, I nearly gave up studying English.14号作品中，The absence of a goal did harm to my study, making me have a slim chance to rank first in time.16号作品中，Inspired by her words, I came to understand that a goal is of vital importance.Then I made up my mind to go to a key university as my goal, thus motivating me to work hard.5)强调句型
１０号作品中，It was the transformation from studying aimlely to studying for a certain goal that helped me get out of the dilemma and make amazing progre in my study.⑥为了高效备考，提高考生英语写作的能力，分析高考作文的规律，剖析优秀作文必备的要素是十分必要的。近几年湖北省高考作文的特点是：开放性作文，尽管要求文体不限，但仍然是以记叙为主，夹有议论。要求考生做到内容与事例的统一性、词汇语句的多样性、上下文的连贯性和语言表达的得体性。从高考作文的特点和要求来看，我们要用辩证的思想来看待作文的模板，对于还停留在二档、三档的考生来说，借鉴优秀作文中的写作技巧：高级词语和复杂句式的使用，开头语和结尾语，叙事的程序和议论的模式，是简单易行，行之有效的方法。对于粗步掌握写作技巧考生来说，借鉴优秀作文，更进一步完善自己的写作技能，写出具有个性的短文，也是十分必要的。
第一段剖析：
象样卷中，开头语：There is a consensus among people that a goal is what it takes to obtain personal succe.A goal is to individuals what a compa is to a travelling ship, under whose guidance we can find the right way to take.第一段两句，There is a consensus among people that（人们一致认为），A is to B what C is to D (Ａ对于Ｂ如同Ｃ对于Ｄ)两句都为复合句，含有同位语从句、表语从句、定语从句，起到了点题，解释题义的作用。 １号作品中，开头语：As is known to all, an appropriate goal can function as a light with which we can find our way leading to us to succe.When it comes to this, one of my own experiences naturally flashed on my mind.As is known to all（众所周之）随后点明题义，虽常见但不落俗套，又很贴切。When it comes to this, one of my own experiences naturally flashed on my mind.（谈及此，我脑海的自然闪现一次经历）还没有找到写作窍门同学，赶紧背吧，一用就灵。
４号作品中，开头语：Occasions are quite rare when you can attain your ambitions without a precise goal.A poible and appropriate goal as well as perseverance is what it takes to succeed.Occasions are quite rare when---without—（没有准确的目标，你实现抱负的时机是很少的），――what it takes to succeed.（和毅力一样，合适的目标是成功具备的条件），作者采用先抑后扬的方式，既起到了点题的作用，又体现了词汇语句的多样性和语言表达的得体性。过去我们仅仅提倡学生们在作文使用“完成句子”中学到语法和词汇知识，现在我们给你指明一条更为捷径的方法，还等什么，快熟记吧，用在下一次的作文中。
５号作品中，开头语：It is no exaggeration to say that everyone need a goal in life, which leads us to the right direction.In my perspective, if we don’t have a goal, we will be at a lo what to do next.It is no exaggeration to say---（毫不夸张地说，每个人生活中都需要目标）In my perspective--（在我看来，如果没有目标，我们对下一步做什么就不知所措）与４号作品恰恰相反，作者先扬后抑，用到了exaggeration和perspective两个较高级的词汇，是作者的语言功底深厚，还是背诵了什么作文模板，无需考证，这次他用了得了高分，下次你用了你也得高分，Go for it.９号作品中，开头语：It is an indisputable fact that a goal plays as important a role as water does in our lives.Without a goal, never will we succeed in the competitive society, nor will we have enough motivations to make our dreams come true.It is an indisputable fact that---- as important a role as（不可争议的事实是，目标所起作用跟我们生活中的水一样重要）高级词语indisputable和plays as important a role as 的得体使用，既增添了语势，显出考生深厚的语言功底，又主题鲜明。never will we succeed--- nor will we have---（没有目标，在竞争激烈的社会我们既不会成功，又不会有足够的动力去实现我们的梦想。）接着倒装句的正确使用和高级词语competitive 和motivations的正确使用，更进一步地取悦了阅卷老师，五档非他莫属。
１２号作品中，开头语：As a saying goes, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” Our life way is actually determined by our inner ambitions, which allows you to excavate your superiority in every aspect you like and paveds the way for your succe.（正如谚语所说：有竞者，事竟成。我们的生活道路是由内心的雄心抱负所决定的，这使我们（你们应换成我们）发挥出我们的优势，为我们成功铺平道路。(pavdes应改为pave）As a saying goes,--- 谚语的贴切使用和高级词语excavate our superiority, pave the way 的正确使用，无不显出考生驾驭语言的能力。相比之下，我们还停留在把简单句写正确，尝试使用复杂句式的写作起步阶段。惭愧之余，我们要面对现实，赶快行动起来，背诵、模仿，在我们的下一次作文中，能见到正确、得体使用这些高级词语和复杂句式。
第二段剖析：纵观十六篇优秀作文，全部采用经典的三段。接下来我们来剖析第二段，这一段非常重要，这是因为高考一再强调考生要结合事例，也就是说高考侧重考查考生的观察校园生活，洞察社会，在此基础上考查考生综合运用英语语言的能力，这是其一；其二，结合事例叙述，能防止考生因猜题、压题，大量训练而导致的雷同试卷，把平时训练的作文稍加改写拿来滥竽充数，高考作文命题其目的是想考查考生真实的语言运用能力。所以，我们还要提醒同学们要慎用、灵活地使用这些所谓的作文模板。
样卷中，第二段：Let me take Yu Minhong’s experience as an example to illustrate my illumination.He had been hoping to enter the Peking University for a long time, but bombed on his first exam.Disappointed as he was, he didn’t give up his goal.For the whole next year, he studied more industriously than ever before.Unfortunately, he failed again.Not withstanding, he was so determined that nothing could weaken his resolve.He tried even harder and ultimately achieved his goal.It was the goal that encouraged him to get over all the obstacles and harvest his final succe.这一段共计８句，９７词。第一句起着承上启下的作用，让我以俞敏洪的经历为例来阐明我的观点，同时illustrate my illumination为高级词语，不下真功夫是难以企及的。接下来的六句，我们可以按照事情发展的基本程序：发生、发展、高潮和结局来分析，事件发生的阶段是：他一直以来都希望上北京大学，但事与愿违，考砸了。虽然很失望，但他并没有放弃目标。Bomb an exam相当于fail an exam是很地道的英语。事件发展的阶段是：接下来的一整年，他更加勤奋，但不幸的是他又失败了。两句都是简单句，句虽短但表达很贴切，加之，使用了industriously（hard） 高级词语，增添了文采。事件的高潮阶段是：他忍耐不住，他决心之大以致什么也不能削弱他的决心。高级词语withstanding 和weaken his resolve的恰当使用，无不彰显了考生深厚的语言功底。事件的结局是：他更加努力，并最终实现了目标。简简单单的一句话就结束了叙述。最后一句对整个事件加以总结：是目标鼓励了他克服困难，收获了成功。观察上文，我们不难发现，考生很善于使用较高级的词语。
２号作品中，第二段首句：My own experience can serve as a vivid example.放在第二段首句，是非常贴切的，同学们要很好加以利用。
３号作品中，第二段首句：Ｉwould like to share a real story with you to prove the idea.看起来很亲切，仿佛要叙述一段真实的故事。
４号作品中，第二段首句：A memory can never fade away from my mind.There was a time when----这两句是值得套用的。 ５号作品中，第二段首句：When it comes to this, I can’t help recalling one of my own experiences.There was a time when---- 很值得模仿。 １０号作品中，第二段首句：A piece of memory, which always kept me convinced of how much a goal counts, never fades away.非同凡响。
１１号作品中，第二段首句：Never in my mind have I experienced such an unforgettable things like this in my life.Dating back to the time when I was a middle school student--- 非同一般。
１３号作品中，第二段首句：Memories came crowding into my mind.阅卷时发现大多数考生都使用了这样的句式，说明一些班级或学校经过严格的系统的训练过。
14号作品中，第二段首句：The memory never fades in my mind when it comes to goals.很好。
15号作品中，第二段首句：Take Mo Yan, a literary giant, who won the Nobel prize, for example.很常用。
16号作品中，第二段首句：Under no circumstances will I forget the time when I had a tough life without a goal.直奔主题。
请同学们参照对样卷的分析去赏析其余优秀作文的第二段叙述，侧重关注复杂句式、过渡词语、叙事程序等方面的使用情况。
末段剖析：第三段的作用是，照应第一段，结束议论，升华主题。接下来我们再来分析这些优秀作文中的巧妙的结尾。
样卷中，第三段：From the story we can draw the conclusion that we can’t attach too much significance to a goal.So just set a goal and go for it.末段２句２７词，从以上故事，我们得出结论，我们再怎么重视目标都不为过。树立目标，并为之努力奋斗吧。Can’t attach too much significance to--- 和祈使句的使用，使聊聊数语平添了几分语势。
４号作品中，第三段：From my personal perspective, I hold that a good goal will aist with your development.One of the recipes for succe is setting a goal and sparing no efforts to achieve it.两句３２词，从我个人观点来看，我认为好的目标有助于发展。成功的秘决这一是树立目标，不遗余力去实现。既照应了上文，又升华了主题。
５号作品中，第三段：We can learn from my experience that only when we have a goal can we embrace a bright future.一句１9词。从我的经历来看，只有当我们拥有目标时，我们才能拥抱光明的未来。虽只有一句，但使用了宾语从句、倒装句和高级词语embrace,并且，占了两行，加上第一段四行，第二九行，写满了１５行。１６篇优秀作品中共有８篇，采用了这模式。
６号作品中，第三段：As has been illustrated above, a goal is like a lantern that lights the future road.It is the goal that paves the way for the future and lays a good foundation on which we can build the house of succe.两句４４词。正如上文所叙述的，目标就象照亮未来的路灯。是目标铺就了未来的道路，奠定了我们铸造成功之屋的良好基础。三句定语从句和一句强调句型，丰富了语言结构，表达自然流畅。
７号作品中，第三段：Based on what I have mentioned above, having a goal can’t be emphasized too much.I’m firmly convinced that equipped with a goal, we are bound to embrace a promising future.两句３１词。根据以上所提到的，对拥有目标怎么强调都不为过。我坚信有了目标，我们就一定能拥抱有希望的未来。非谓语动词、can’t be emphasized too much强语势、高级词语embrace等语法手段的使用突显了考生较强的语言驾驭能力。
⑦卷面不整洁，随意涂改，字迹潦草，写字太轻，扫描到网上非常模糊，阅卷老师辨认不清等等情况，考生有种种原因导致以上情况的发生，但只会有一种结果，那就是得分较底，二档三档阅卷老师随意给个分。这就是你马马虎虎写，我马马虎虎阅的原因，倒不是说老师马虎阅卷，而是实在看不下去，只能根据长短给分。这次市统考我们学校作文得分最高分为２３.５，２３分以上只有８人，２０分以上也只有１７０多人。与参加网上阅卷的兄弟学校相比，我们的得分大致跟我们区二中和市一中相当，三中跟四中相当，为什么会出现这种情况呢？作文内容和语言上的差距仅仅是一个方面，主要的差距在卷面和书写上，作文监控老师一再提醒阅卷老师不要仅凭书写就给高分，但事实是卷面整洁，书写美观，即使内容一般，也很容易得高分。
练好字才是硬道理，请同学们务必购买英语字帖，每天或每周抽一定的时间，照字贴一笔一画练，认认真真练，扎扎实实练。在字贴上能写出规范的英语字母后，随后在英语本上规规矩矩练，直到在大型考试中，看到试卷上规范工整的书写，美观清晰的书法为止。书写差的质量高的作文难保得高分，而质量一般的书写美观的作文很容易得高分。光说不练是懒汉，说了就练是君子，练了就变是英雄。 21.These splendid ancient buildings demonstrate the great ___________ of the labouring people. A.adaptation B.intelligence C.intention D.independence 22.There’s absolutely no regulation of cigarettes to make sure that they don’t include poisonous ____________. A.nutritions B.resources
C.instances D.substances 23.Only when agriculture is fully developed can industry have __________ materials and markets.
A.sufficient B.efficient C.conventional
D.claical 24.Promoting home-made products and importing goods from overseas are not ________.They are two aspects of commercial economy of a country.A.contradictory B.consistent C.approximate D.beneficial 25.For a toothbrush brand, product creation can efficiently __________ image advertising of significant spending.A.interrupt B.investigate C.substitute
D.distribute 26.Language learning __________ motivation, emotion, a sense of self, and a set of cultural beliefs.A.aociates B.illustrates C.involves D.accelerate 27.In a Christian wedding ceremony, the bride is officially ___________ to her husband by the bride’s father.A.put away B.given away C.taken away
D.got away 28.I have never been dishonest, nor do I plan to start being so now, because I think those who lie and cheat will never_________ it.A.watch out for B.drop out of C.get rid of D.get away with 29.Young Mark seems very knowledgeable and experienced for his age--- ________ an old head on young shoulders.A.originally B.increasingly C.fortunately D.definitely 30.A huge fire broke out in that supermarket yesterday.As the bodies were burned __________, DNA technology would be used for identification of those dead, said officials.A.beyond reach B.beyond recognition C.beyond repair D.beyond description 71.The teacher was making every effort to clarify ___________ the students.( confuse) 这个老师正全力诠释证学生困惑的地方。
72.They promised to develop a software package by the end of this year, __________ .(have)
他们承诺无论他们有什么困难， 在今年年底之前把软件包开发出来。 73.In my opinion, it is his measures rather than his ability ____________ .( blame)
依我看来，是他的措施而不是他的能力应该受责备。
74.After school we went to the library to borrow some books, only to be told that it_________.(decorate)
放学后，我们到图书馆去准备借些书，却被告知图书馆正在装修。 75.“ Never for a second, “ the boy says, “_____________ that my father would come to my rescue.” (doubt)
那个男孩说，“我一分一秒从不怀疑我爸会来救我。”
76.I am extremely grateful to you.I ______________ that bitter period without your generous help.( go ) 我非常感谢你，没有你慷慨的帮助我肯定挺不过那段艰苦的时期。 77.She showed the visitors around the museum, the construction _________________ more than three years.(take) 她带领游客参观了博物馆，它的建设花费三年多的时间。
78.Film has a much shorter history, especially when ____________ such art forms as music and painting.( compare) 特别是与音乐和绘画这样的艺术形式相比时，电影的历史要短得多。 79.China recently tightened its waters controls near the Huangyan Island to prevent Chinese fishing boats from _____________ in the South China Sea.(attack) 中国最近加强了对黄岩岛附近水域的监管，来防止中国的渔船在中国南海受到攻击。 80.The engine just won’t start, Something seems _______________ with it.(go) 发动机就是启动不了，它似乎出了什么毛病。
请根据以下提示，并结合事例，用英语写一篇短文。
Failure is permanent for the lazy but temporary for a hard-working person.There is no short cut but effort to your dream.注意：①无须写标题，不得照抄英语提示语； ②除诗歌外，文体不限；
③文中不得透露个人姓名和学校名称； ④词数为120左右。
Poible version: Everyone has a dream for succe.Neverthele, succe doesn’t come to whoever just sits back and does nothing at all.As the old saying goes, “No pains, no gains.” Let me take my own experience as an example to illustrate my illumination.During my Senior Two, addicted to playing basketball and surfing the web, I didn’t do any exercise, nor did I listen to the teachers attentively in cla.Inevitably, I encountered the Waterloo in the mid-term examination.However, my fellow students spared no effort to study and obtained high marks in it.Consequently, I was left far behind them.Only then did I realize I was completely wrong and that succe didn’t happen accidently.From then on I made the best of every minute to catch up with my clamates.Now I’m among the top students in our cla.My effort has eventually paid off.My story has taught me a leon that there is no such thing as a free lunch.We can’t attach too much significance to neceity of personal endeavor.Only by working hard can we make more progre and achieve the final succe.
