人人范文网 范文大全

黄西脱口秀

发布时间:2020-03-01 18:53:04 来源:范文大全 收藏本文 下载本文 手机版

黄西脱口秀

他的脱口秀完全不同于美国的黑人和白人的口水滔滔,而有另外一种喜剧的魅力---全部是最简单的字词,配合以木讷的表情和僵硬的动作,讲那种需要动脑筋才能理解的冷幽默。最别致的是,他是采取停顿和沉默来控制观众,让他们在这个间歇想明白笑话的意思,或者这种沉默无言本身也成为了表演的一部分。人们为了沉默而大笑,这是喜剧大师才有的能力(参考电影《月亮上的男人》前15分钟)。

他使用英文,讲的是美式笑话。他的笑话大部分都有语境上的背景。比如说他讲接受移民官考试的段子,第一个问题是:谁是本杰明.富兰克林?Wong回答说:难道他就是我们小区商店被抢的原因?第二个问题是:什么是宪法第二修正案?Wong再次回答说:难道它就是我们小区商店被抢的原因?

现场的美国人爆笑不已,但是对于中国人来说,要理解这些笑话很难。第一条是因为本杰明.富兰克林的头像出现在美元上。第二条所说的宪法第二修正案,内容是保证了美国人民有持枪的权利。从Youtube的回帖上看,不单是中国人民理解有困难,就连美国人民自己都够呛,许多耿直的美国人留言提问说:这有什么好笑的?为什么这个傻逼连续两次用相同的答案回答不同的问题?

摘录部分脱口秀内容如下:

00:00 Good evening everyone, my name is Joe Wong.But to most people, I am known as “Who?” which is actually my mother\'s maiden name and the answer to my credit card security question.

各位晚上好,我是JoeWong(黄西)。但是对你们中的很多人来说,听到我的名字,你们会问“谁啊?”(注意看他说这句话时侯的表情),who(同音“胡”)恰恰是我妈妈出嫁前的姓,这也是我信用卡密码问题的答案。(和很多网站注册一样,美国的信用卡也会设置密码问题,比如“你妈妈姓什么”,“你家小狗叫什么”)

00:35 But joking aside I just want to reaure everybody that I AM invited here tonight.

但是玩笑归玩笑,我想要提醒大家我的确是受到邀请而来的(他重读了I am的am)(这里是讽刺Salah的夫妇闯入白宫晚宴的新闻,大家可以搜索Michaele and Tareq Salahi)

02:30 And I was driving this used car that had a lot of bump stickers that were impoible to peel off.One of them said \"If you don\'t speak English, go home\".And I didn\'t know this for two years.

我当时开了辆二手车,保险杠上贴了好多贴纸(就类似于我们贴的“注意有熊出没”那种),那些贴纸贴的很牢,根本没可能撕下来。其中一张写着“如果你不会说英文,那就回家去”。而我连着两年都没看懂这句话。

02:57 And like many other immigrants, we all want our son to the become the president of this country and we are trying to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home, English in the public, which is really tough to do because many times I have to say to him in public, \"hey, listen, if you don\'t speak English, go home.\" And he would say to me, \"hey dad, why do I have to learn two languages?\" I said, \"son, once you become the president of the United State, you are gonna have to sign the legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese.\"

和很多其他的移民一样,我们都希望自己的儿子能成为这个国家的总统,于是我们努力 让他们说两种语言,在家说中文,在外说英文,真的操作起来其实挺困难,很多时侯我不得不对他说“嘿,听着,如果你不说英文,就给我回家去。”(这段对应了他上文说的汽车贴纸的笑话)我儿子总是会问我“爸爸,为什么我一定要说两种语言呢?”我告诉他:“儿子,一旦有一天你成为了美国总统,你就必须要用英文来签署立法议案,然后用中文跟债主们讨论债务问题。”(中国是美国的大债主。)

06:25 I am honored to meet Vice president Joe Biden here tonight.I actually read your autobiography.And today I see you.I think the book is much better.They should have cast Brad Pitt, or even Angelina Jolie.

我很荣幸今晚能见到副总统Joe Biden。事实上,我曾经读过你的自传。今天见到你了,我觉得书写的比本人要好的多(然后镜头就给了副总统,副总统笑的哈开心)。我觉得应该让Brad Pitt来扮演这个角色,或者Angelina Jolie也不错。

06:59 So to be honest, I was really honored to be here tonight and I prepared for months for tonight show and I show the white house and the jokes about President Obama, that was when he decided not to come.And he started to talk about immigration reforms.Take that, Steven Colbert.

坦率的说,我真的很荣幸今天能来到这里,为了今晚的节目我也已经准备了好几个月了。我还把关于奥巴马总统的笑话呈给白宫看,于是奥巴马总统就在那一刻决定不出席今天的晚会。接着他就开始谈论移民改革了。Steven Colbert, 你看人家够狠吧。(Steve是专攻政治人物访谈的主持人,布什就对他很害怕,而奥巴马索性就不参加他的节目)

07:28 And President Obama has always been accused of being too soft.But he was conducting two wars, and they still gave him the Nobel Peace prize.And he accepted it.You can\'t be more bada than that.Well actually, I am thinking the only way you can be more bada than that is if you take the Nobel Peace Prize money and give it to the military.

奥巴马总统被指责太过于软弱。尽管他正在发动两场战争,他还是获得了诺贝尔和平奖。而他也接受了。怎么可能有比这更混蛋的事情。好吧,事实上,我在想,唯一有可能比这个更混蛋的事情,就是你接受了诺贝尔和平奖的奖金,然后把它们派发给军队。

09:58 After becoming a US citizen, I immediately registered vote for Obama/Biden.

(pause, turn to Biden) You are welcome.You had me at \"Yes we can\".That was their slogan.So after getting Obama/Biden elected, I felt this power trip.And I started to think maybe I should run for president myself.Well I have to take a step back and explain a little bit.You know, cause I had always been a morose and peimistic guy.I felt that life is kind of like peeing into the snow in a dark winter night.You\'ve probably made a difference but it is really hard to tell.But now we have a president who is half black and half white.It just gives me a lot of hope.Because I am half not black, half not white.Two negatives make a positive.You maybe say even \"hey, what will be your campaign slogan?\" You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade.Oh, you too? OK.So I understand that American people are suffering.So my campaign slogan will be \"Who cares!\"

成为美国公民后,我立刻登记了选票,把票投给而了奥巴马和拜登。(他回头看着拜登,对拜登说)不用谢。你们的口号“是的,我们可以”征服了我。这是他们的口号。在奥巴马和拜登当选后,我感受到自己对权力的渴望。于是我开始想,或许我也可以竞选总统。好吧,我必须退回去解释一下。我其实一直是一个忧郁且悲观的人。我觉得生活就像是在漆黑的冬夜里往雪地上撒尿。你认为这么做有差别,但其实根本看不出来。但是现在我们有了一位半黑人血统半白人血统的总统。这给了我很大的希望。因为我一半不是黑人,一半不是白人。负负得正。你或许会问:“嘿,那你的竞选口号会是什么?”你看,我花了10年在过去10年里(decade和10years都是10年的意思)。什么,你也是?好吧。所以我很理解美国人正经历的痛苦。所以,我的竞选口号将会是“胡在乎你!”(注意他发hu的时侯,故意读的像who一样,也就是who cares,“谁会在乎你”的意思)

12:00 If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal but required.That will get me the youth vote.You see I am married now.I used to be really scared about marriage.I was like \"wow, 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting forever.\"

如果我当选,我不但会把同性恋结婚合法化还会把它作为要求。这会帮助我赢得年轻人的选票。你们也知道我已经结婚了。我过去对婚姻是非常恐惧的。我会想:“哇噻,50%的婚姻结局是大家要一辈子在一起。”

13:00 And despite heart disease and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes.So if elected, I will find a cure for natural causes.You seem to like that one, but it won\'t be covered by health insurance though, because of pre-existing conditions.

扣除心脏病和癌症,大多数美国人是自然死亡的。所以如果我当选,我就要找出一种治愈自然死亡的疗法。你们看上去很期待这个,但是你们的医疗保险可不能报销,因为这是在保险前就有的毛病。

13:34 And I have quick solution to global warming.If elected, I will switch form Fahrenheit to Celsius.It was 100 degrees before.Now it\'s forty.You are very welcome.

我还有解决全球变暖的特效措施。如果我当选了,我就把华氏改成摄氏。这样以前的100度就会变成40度。

13:57 And I am great with foreign policy.Because I am from China.And I can see Ruia from my backyard.I believe that unilateralism is too expensive and open dialogue is too slow.So if elected, I will go with text meaging.I will text our allies just to say hi, and text our enemies whenever they are driving.OMG, you are making a nuclear weapon? But you are doing it wrong, LOL.

我也很擅长外交政策。因为我来自中国。我从我家后院就看得到俄罗斯(这里讽刺Sarah Palin曾经说“我从我家门廊就看得到俄罗斯”)。我认为单边主义代价太高,公开对话效率太低。如果我当选,我会选择发送短信。我会发短信给我的联盟说hi,我会在敌人开车的时侯发消息给他们。OMG,听说你们在造核武器?但是你们的做法不对,LOL(OMG和LOL都是短信流行用语, OMG是Oh My God, LOL是Laugh Out Loud)。

黄西在美国白宫晚宴上的脱口秀

黄西

脱口秀

脱口秀

脱口秀

脱口秀

黄西的演讲

黄西小学教代会制度

黄西小学教师教学心得

黄西美国talk show

黄西脱口秀
《黄西脱口秀.doc》
将本文的Word文档下载到电脑,方便编辑。
推荐度:
点击下载文档
点击下载本文文档