优秀作文选
My hometown
作者: 朱雪琴(凯里学院附中初三)My hometown—Yuqing, which is in the southeast of Zuiyi city, Guizhou Province, is a very beautiful town.Let me tell you my beautiful hometown.
My grandmother tells me:more than thirty years ago, my hometown was just a small and poor town, the poeple there didn\'t enough food or clothes，they led a hard life.But now, poeple have found a lot of ways of making money.People don\'t worry food or clothes any more.In the past, the people from village got into the street on foot.Now ,they can take buses or drive their own cars to go work.In old days, they lived in their old houses, now most of them have new houses and have color TV sets, cell phones, personal computers and so on.People\'s living condition have improved a lot.Great changes have taken place in my hometown in the past thirty years indeed.We can see tall buildings, factories, schools, hospitals and new roads everywhere.
I love my hometown.I must study hard to make it build more beautiful.
点评：这是一篇优秀习作。作者首先介绍家乡的地理位置，是个美丽的地方。
第二段采用对比和排比的手法，描写家乡的过去和现在，形成明显的对比，可以看出家乡变化之大。
结尾段前后照应，提出希望，文章严谨，中心突出。 （龙老师评）
Changes in my hometown作者:谢丽君(附中初三)
Many changes have taken place in my hometown in recent years.It used to be a beautiful small town.There was a river running around the hometown,we could see all kinds of fish swimming in the clear water.In my hometown we could also see many trees here and there, the air was very fresh.Good environment made us happy.However, with the development of the industry, lots of trees have been cut down.Now we can see tall buildings and factories everywhere.Air and water pollution is becoming more and more serious.
I love my hometown very much.We must do something useful to stop pollution and make our hometown even more beautiful.
点评：作者通过对家乡的变化，采用对比的手法，描写家乡过去是个环境优美的小镇，现在虽然是高楼林立、工厂遍布，但污染越来越严重，暗示人们重视。结尾一段紧扣主题，提出号召，控制污染，把家乡变得更加美丽。本文多种时态与句式的运用，使得文章结构紧凑，自然。现在完成时 Many changes have taken place in my hometown in recent years.“There be\"句型的使用，被动语态运用 lots of trees have been cut down.比较级的使用Air and water pollution is becoming more and more serious等等。整篇文章写得较为成功，若能把家乡变化描写得详细些那更好了。
（龙老师评）
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