哲理篇
The Help from the God A small village came into a very large storm, and floods began to submerge the whole village.A priest prayed in the church when the flood submerged his knees． Lifeguard came to the church driving a sampan： \"Father, come here as soon as poible！Otherwise you will drown in the flood！\" The priest said： \"No！I am confident that God will save me, please go to save others．\" But soon, the water rose to the priest’s chest, and the priest had to stand on the altar． At this time, a police drove to the priest with a speedboat：\"Father, hurry up, otherwise you will be drowned！\" The priest said： \"No, I would like to keep my church.I believe that God will save me．You’d better to save others.\" After a while, the floods have submerged the entire church.The priest had no choice but to firmly grasp the top of the Cro Church．A helicopter flied over slowly, and the pilot dropped a rope ladder：\"Father, hurry up, this is the last chance! \" But the priest said: \"No, I would like to keep my church！God will save me．”The stubborn priest was finally drowned.In the heaven, the priest asked the God angrily：\"Lord, I devoted my whole life to serving you, why you refuse to help me！\" God said：\" The first time, I sent a sampan to rescue you, but you didn’t get on .I think you are not satisfied with the sampan；the second time, I sent a speedboat, you refuse it again；the third time, I send a helicopter to rescue you, but also you are unwilling to accept it.Therefore, I thought you wanted to come back to my side.\" In fact, there are many obstacles in life chiefly coming from our stubbornne and ignorance．When others give us a hand, do not forget, only we accept it, can they help us！！！
God\'s Coffee A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old profeor.Conversation soon turned into complaints about stre in work and life.The profeor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an aortment of cupstelling them to help themselves.When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the profeor said: \"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, while the plain and cheap ones are left on the table.It is normal for you to have only the best for yourselves, which is the source of your problems and stre.Be aured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...And then you began eyeing each other\'s cups.Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.\" God brews the coffee, not the cups..........Enjoy your coffee! \"The happiest people don\'t have the best of everything.They just make the best of everything.\" Live simply.Love generously.Care deeply.Speak kindly.Leave the rest to God.
Pebbles and diamonds
\"Why do we have to learn about these usele things?\"
This is what teachers have heard students complain about most commonly.In such cases, we may tell the students such a fable:
One night, a group of nomadic tribes of herdsmen was preparing to break camp, all of a sudden, a bunch of bright light shrouded.They knew that God would be there, so that they looked forward to getting wishes from God. God began to speak: \"You have to collect along the way a number of pebbles.Tomorrow night, you will be very happy, but you can also be regretted.\" Then God disappeared.Herdsmen were very disappointed, because they would look forward to God to bring them untold wealth and health and longevity, but they did not expect that God had told them to do all these meaningle things.However, in any case, after all, that was God\'s will, although there were some diatisfaction, they were still picking over some stones,
In this way, they took a day, when night fell, they camped.All of a sudden, they found that all the pebbles they picked had turned into diamonds.They were delighted, at the same time, they felt very sorry, and regretted that they did not collect more pebbles.
Now we feel that knowledge is usele, like pebbles, in the future, they may become endle wealth.
Sand and Stone The story goes that two friends were walking through the desert.During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: \"Today my best friend slapped me in the face.\"
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: \"Today my best friend saved my life.\"
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, \"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone.Why?\"
The other friend replied: \"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgivene can erase it away.But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.\"
The Nail
There was a little boy with a bad temper.His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Then it gradually dwindled down.He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn\'t lose his temper at all.He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days paed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.He said, \"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.The fence will never be the same.When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.It won\'t matter how many times you say I\'m sorry, the wound is still there.A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.Show your friends how much you care.
Five Keys in life In May, 2001, American Nevada state Madison middle school’s entrance examination set such a topic: On the Bill Gates desk there are 5 locked drawers, respectively representing wealth, interest, happine, honor, and succe.Gates always only have one key, and the other 4 are locked in the drawers.Which key does Gates take? One immigrated mainland student had flustered after he saw this topic, because he did not know whether it was a language question or a mathematics one.When the test finished, he asked his guarantor.The director told him that the answer was not in the books, and there were no standard answers.The mainland student got 9 points.He didn’t answer the question, but the teacher believed that, at least he was honest.At last, we know which key Gates takes in Gates’ writing in reply for this school.What does he write? The letter reads: the secret of your life is hiding behind what you are interested in.
幽默篇
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running acro her kitchen floor.She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops.There she bought a mousetrap.The shopkeeper said to her, \"Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.\"
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it.She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite succeful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enough to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination.\"Well,\" the dean said after some persuasion, \"I‘d better ask him a few questions first.\"
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, \"Well, what‘s five times seven?\"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, \"Thirty-six.\"
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, \"Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two.\"
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history profeor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university.However, his father decided that he would go to see the profeor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
\"He‘s a good boy,\" said Jack‘s father, \"and if you let him pa this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pa the examinations at the end of it really well.\"
\"No, no, that‘s quite impoible,\" replied the profeor immediately.\"Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!\"
\"Please, sir, give him another chance,\" said Jack‘s father.\"You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.\"
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and they were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world.The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn.He paused for a moment, then said shyly, \"Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.\"
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, \"Gigantic Sale!\" and \"Super Bargains!\" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, \"Prices Slashed!\" and \"Fantastic Discounts!\" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, \"ENTRANCE\".
That man knows the future Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden.While he was sawing, another man paed in the street.He stopped and said, \'Excuse me, but if you continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it.\' He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting it at a place between himself and the trunk of the tree.
Nasreddin said nothing.He thought, \'This is some foolish person who has no work to do and goes about telling other people what to do and what not to do.\' The man continued on his way.
Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasreddin fell with it.
\'My God!\' he cried.\'That man knows the future!\' and he ran after him to ask how long he was going to live.But the man had gone.
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.\"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?\" \"I gave it to a poor old woman,\" he answered.\"You\'re a good boy,\" said the mother proudly.\"Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?\" \"She is the one who sells the candy.\"
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home.At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now, he asked, \"What\'s the meaning of the word \'Drunk\', dad?\" \"Well, my son,\" his father replied, \"look, there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.\" \"But, dad,\" the boy said, \"There’s only ONE policeman!\"
Hospitality The hoste apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest\'s plate.The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: \"You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny.Where did you find the cheese?\" \"In the rat-trap, sir,\" replied the boy.
How many children will I have Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says, \"Congratulations, you got twins.\" The man said \"How strange, I\'m the manager of Minnesota Twins.\" After a while the nurse comes up to the second man and says, \"Congratulations, you got triplets.\" Man was like \"Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the \"3 musketeers.\" Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says \"Congratulations, you got twins x2.\" Man is happy and says, \"Ironic, I work for the hotel \"4 Seasons.\" All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what\'s wrong and he answered, \"What\'s wrong? I work for 7up\"!
You\'re not going to make it
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife.After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
\"Your husband is very sick,\" the doctor said, \"but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival.First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day.Next, give him a stre-free environment, and don\'t complain about anything.Finally, make paionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, \"What did the doctor say?\" \"I\'m sorry,\" she said, \"but you\'re not going to make it.
A lawyer\'s dog A lawyer\'s dog， running about unleashed， beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.Butcher goes to lawyer\'s office and asks， “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store，do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog\'s owner?” The lawyer answers， “Absolutely.”“Then you owe me $8.50.Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”The lawyer， without a word， writes the butcher a check for $8.50.Several days later the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.
Time to a pig One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads to see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer,\" I see that your pig likes apples, but isn’t that quite a waste of time?\" The farmer replied,\" What’s time to a pig.”
The brave heart
A millionaire called on all the bachelors in the city to his home , and take them to a big pool where lived some crocodiles”I want to find a brave heart, let me see who dare to jump into this pool and swim to the other side--------he will be my son-in-low, get all my fortune and my beautiful daughter.”Sex! But„„Every man looked at each other, with a pale and red face.None dare.Suddenly, with a “PUTON”,a bachelor jumped into the water, God! He swam towards the other side at a crazy speed! And at the very lighting speed, he touched the side, and climbed on without even awaking the crocodiles!
The millionaire goes ahead and holds his hand: Congratulations! What a brave heart! I suppose U want to my daughter so much!
“Not at all!”the guy cried,”I just want to know who son of a bitch pushed me into the poor just now!!”
