Do Postgraduate Diplomas Mean Better Jobs?
In the modern time, knowledge means almost everything, and now in China most people regard diplomas as equal to knowledge.As a result, more and more attention has been paid to postgraduate education.The postgraduate craze has brought about knowledge and degree surplus, which produces（改成means最好） large waste of educational resources.To those who determine to take the examination, a master\'s degree means a better job and a higher social position.However, things do not always turn out to be what they originally look forward to.
That point can be accounted for as follows.Firstly, the gap between the number of the takers of the postgraduate entrance examinations and the enrolment quotas is very big.As a result, many people who exert themselves in the （我查了字典，觉得应该把这两个词换成 不定式符号to）prepare for the exams only to find that they are refused although they have got scores much higher than the minimum requirements of admiion.And maybe some of them are lucky enough to be admitted.However, when they finish the postgraduate program, many of them will find that the situation is even le desirable: the job they could easily get 2 or 3 years ago is not easy at all to get now, let alone get a better job.Secondly, some people who (加上are) diatisfied with their original position resign to take the entrance exams and then become a graduate student in the hope that they can get a better job upon graduation.However, during the postgraduate years, they gradually recognize that with the situation changed, to find a job just like their former ones will be very difficult.So they feel as if they are riding a tiger and difficult to get off.Thirdly, the requirements for a certain position will keep going up.When bachelor’s degree holders finish their graduate programs, they are often frustrated to find that the positions which was（应该是were）once offered only to masters are now offered only to those who poe a doctor’s degree.Last but not the least, an increasing number of master’s degree holders come on to the job market every year, but the job chances (能这么说吗？) do not increase accordingly, which also makes a better job not easy to touch.
In all, a postgraduate diploma is not a spring flower, which makes one smell the flavor of a rosy future.Choosing to take the exam is not bad, but it is not good if you go too far （什么意思？）.One should be more rational when facing graduate craze.1 i
同学评语：
蓝色部分不一定是有问题的，有些是我没看懂；改过的部分如有不妥，请不要生气吆。
1、总体很好。用词变化多彩,行文流畅。
2、第一段作为主题思想表述，应更简洁。
3、发展段中有些句子与该段主题内容相关性不强。
4、最后一段对前文内容进行了的总结归纳并得出自然的结论，挺好。
另外，希望我们能多交流，共同提高！
作文态度分：A； 作文分：A修改者
褚老师评语：
总体来看这是本次作文中写得较好的作文：语言基本通顺，结构组织思路基本合理清晰。批改者的评语非常中肯，也基本上说到了要点。
这篇作文中出现的问题，具有很大的代表性，请同学们注意。具体如下：
1) 语言表达上有些地方因受汉语的影响表达不准确（在原文中用蓝色笔标出的地方）。
2) 思路和结构方面，在第一段和结尾段都说了拿到硕士学位未必能找到好工作，应该说主题明确，但在论证过程中出了中国人做文时常犯的错误：离题。
3) 检查作文离题与否最有效的方法是――自问以下问题：
A) 全文的中心论点是什么？在第一段中有没有表述清楚？
B) 接下来的各个发展段中有没有各自的主题句；这些主题句是不是都围绕着第一段中的全文中心句展开的；
C) 每一个发展段中的每一个句子是不是都在围绕该段的主题句；
D) 最后一段，是不是对前文的总结归纳或自然结论。
关于英语作文的结构知识是很容易掌握的，关键是大家在自己写作和批改同学的作文过程中能不能有意识地运用这些知识。只要大家要有耐心，多留意，这种有意识的知识运用会渐渐转化成一种无意识的行为。
相对而言，英语作文结构组织方面是比较容易提高的，难的是语言表达和驾驭能力的提高，因为那不是一门作文课所能解决的问题。语言能力的提高关键是多读多记；别忘了《新概念英语》编者Alexander 说的那句话：The most efficient way to improve your speaking and writing in English is to read more and recite more, because when we are speaking or writing we are consciously or unconsciously repeating what we have heard or read before.
样文改进版
Do Postgraduate Diplomas Mean Better Jobs?
In the modern time, knowledge means almost everything, and now in China most people regard diplomas as equal to knowledge.As a result, more and more people try to get an education as high as poible, which has brought about the postgraduate craze in China.To those who determine to take the examination, a master\'s degree means a better job and a higher social position.However, things do not always turn out to be what they originally look forward to.
In fact, upon finishing their postgraduate programs, many of master’s degree holders will find that the situation is very depreing: the job they could easily get 2 or 3 years ago is not easy at all to get now, let alone get a better job.The situation is even worse for those who give up their old jobs to take postgraduate education in the hope that they can get a better job upon graduation.During the postgraduate years, they gradually recognize that with the situation changed, to find a job just like their former ones will be very difficult, when they graduate.That can be accounted for as follows.First, the requirements for a certain position will keep going up.When bachelor’s degree holders finish their graduate programs, they are often frustrated to find that the positions which were once offered only to masters are now offered only to those who poe a doctor’s degree.Second, an increasing number of master’s degree holders come on to the job market every year, but the job chances do not increase accordingly, which also makes a better job not easy to touch.
In all, a postgraduate diploma cannot guarantee a brighter future.Therefore, choosing to take the exam is not bad, but one should be more rational when facing the graduate craze.
i 关于“知识过剩”的说法值得推敲：
All developed nations now seek to create some kind of knowledge surplus.By this I mean that they seek a continuing capacity to innovate and create distinctive stocks of knowledge that differentiate them from other nations competing in world markets.Their \'knowledge surplus\' is their ability to trade (or even give away) knowledge in the complete confidence that they retain a sufficient stock of core competencies and intellectual capital to stay ahead of the competition (Haywood, 1995: 45).
relative surplus of college graduates/ agricultural labor force/ agricultural laboring people/agricultural produce
这句话可以改为：
The postgraduate craze has brought about relative surplus of Master’s or Doctor’s degree holders in certain fields, which means large waste of educational resources.
