怒族婚礼：三天不够
怒族有着悠久的历史，他们主要都住在中国西南部的云南省，这个民族有一些有特色的婚礼风俗。就像是民谣唱到：“阿姨的女儿不会向别人屈服。”因为妈妈的兄弟有极高的社会地位，未婚的女子会优先考虑和表兄弟姐妹间的婚姻。
和中国大部分普通的婚礼相比怒族的婚礼有一些不同的婚姻习俗。在某些地方流行男人住在他妻子家，而且寡妇如果再婚也不会被其他人所歧视。有些地方曾近还流行过同族结婚，女孩子们被当做是家中财产一样保护在闺房中。 永恒的爱的誓言后忙碌的准备
婚礼之前所有的男孩女孩都可以自由地参加社会活动。当他们彼此爱上对方时，他们各自要给对方一份礼物作为定情信物有手镯等。然后男孩会找媒人去女孩家上门提亲。双方的父母心照不宣，就顺水推舟撮合成亲了。
怒族男女结婚，一般定日子在龙年或蛇年举办婚礼，因为龙和蛇在怒族的观念中是吉祥如意的象征。婚礼前几天，全村寨的各家各户都派出得力的男子或女子，到男方家帮忙料理结婚的有关事务。女方家也显得格外奔忙：做嫁衣、买首饰、请女傧相、邀请宾客。男女双方都会以大肥猪为礼物。如果女方家送了一头，那男方必须回以两头。在贡山独龙族怒族自治县的怒族通常男方会送女方父母特定的礼物，还会送女方的哥哥一件农具和一头猪。 持续三天三夜的婚礼
迎亲是怒族婚礼中最为热闹的场面。迎亲队伍中一定要选有一名歌手前往，只有新郎将女方挡路的歌手唱败，方能将新娘接走。
结婚当天，新郎邀约两个最好的朋友，背一筐柴和一筐肉桂在肩上，带着一罐酒和其他礼物，去女方家接新娘。到了女方家，他们受到热情的接待，女方家以最好的饭菜招待他们。当太阳升起并笼罩整个村寨时，新郎就接着新娘出发。女方家送亲的人们熙熙攘攘，簇拥着新娘走出村寨。几个年轻力壮的小伙子背着一头大肥猪和一大坛白酒走在前面，后面是抬着嫁妆的送亲队伍。新娘身着怒族的盛装，脸上盖一块色彩鲜艳的薄布，由一群女伴陪着，走在人群中间。当陪送新娘的队伍进入男方村寨时，早已在旁迎候的男方家的人忙上去给背猪、背白酒和抬嫁妆的人们连连敬酒。来到新郎家门口时，新郎的舅舅和舅母要向送亲的人们敬一杯竹筒酒，敬完送亲的人们，新郎、新娘才能迈进男方家的门。 新娘和送亲的队伍进了男方家院子后，男方家的人接过女方家带来的礼物，热情地招呼女方送亲的人们。这时候，新郎要上去牵住新娘的手，把新娘迎进房中。一见新娘进入房中，送亲者中一男子即用火药枪朝天鸣放三枪，以示庆贺。其余送亲的人则跳起怒族的足踏舞，以有节奏的舞步跟着进入房中，并在房中的火塘边跳满一圈。接着，由一德高望重的老人向新郎新娘祝婚，祝福新人婚后幸福吉祥、子孙满堂等。之后，男方家的人热情地向送亲的人们连连敬酒，喝得送亲者一个个面红耳赤，情绪高涨。
怒族的婚礼是歌舞的盛会，青年人弹奏起琵琶调，吹起口弦曲，跳起琵琶舞和锅庄舞，尽情欢歌。在房里，老年人边向新婚夫妇祝福，边唱婚礼歌。在房前院子里，随着愉快的旋律，村里的男孩和女孩对唱并翩翩起舞，院子里溢满欢乐。婚礼歌的内容十分丰富，从人类的起源到先民的生活，从男女相爱到婚礼婚俗等。婚礼歌很长，要分几次才能唱完，中间歌手要同新郎新娘一块吃手抓饭，吃完后再接着唱，有时要一直唱到第二天的黎明。第二天，男方家要给前来参加婚礼的人们每人送一份饭菜，宾客这才高高兴兴地离去。
婚筵是所有礼仪中规模最大的筵席。婚前新郎要带猪肉﹑米等物去岳父家并帮助砍柴和耕地，然后才能举行婚筵。婚筵时不但酒肉要丰盛，场地也要布置一新。新郎﹑新娘要一起喝祝婚酒，姑娘们要向他们拋洒面粉，以此表示吉祥如意。
举办婚礼三天后，新郎新娘分别由陪郎和陪娘陪伴并分开就寝，陪娘每天还要代替新娘背水、煮饭，陪娘回家时，男方家会赠以礼物表示感谢。
按传统习俗，新郎新娘在结婚的头三日内不能同居，只能在洞房里支两张床，分别由一名小伙子和一名姑娘陪伴新郎和新娘。到第四天，新郎带着新娘，再由男方家杀一头猪，装一罐酒，带到女方家，表示对新娘父母的孝敬。直到新郎才能带着妻子回家。这时，整个婚礼才算结束。
怒族的婚姻，基本上是一夫一妻制，但也还有许多原始婚姻的残余。如亚血缘族内婚，其配偶关系，大都在同一氏族甚至同一家庭内部都进行，一对男女叔伯兄弟姊妹之间，表兄弟姊妹之间均可婚配，甚至不同辈分之间也可婚配，只要不是亲生父母、子女，亲兄弟姊妹。此外，普遍还保留着“妻兄弟妇”制（妻子的兄弟和丈夫的姐妹结婚）。一些氏族，家族头人也有多妻的现象。男子婚后即与父母分居，组成自己的小家庭。
Wedding of the Nu ethnic group: three days not enough
Nu Ethnic Minority Group, which has a long history and mainly inhabits Yunnan Province, Southwest China, has some distinctive marriage customs.Just like the ballad goes, \"the auntie\'s daughter doesn\'t yield to others\", the mother\'s brother has an extremely high social status, so the marriage between cousins has special priority over that of others.
There are some different marriage customs in Nu Ethnic Minority Group when compared to the average Chinese wedding.In some areas it is prevailing that men live at their wives\' home and that widows are not discriminated by others if they get remarried.In some areas the homogeneous marriage was once very popular and girls were kept at home as the property of the family. Busy preparations after vows of eternal love
Boys and girls are free to take part in social activities before marriage.If they fall in love with each other, they will present each other a keepsake such as a bracelet.Then the boy\'s matchmaker goes to the girl\'s home to make a proposal.It is an understood thing between their parents and they make a match.
Nu Ethnic Minority Group usually sets a day in the year of the dragon or the snake to hold the marriage ceremony, as the dragon and the snake are the symbols of good fortune in their concept.Several days before the ceremony, the men and women from each family of the village go to help the bridegroom to prepare for the wedding.The family of the bride is also busy with many things such as making the wedding gown, buying the jewelry, and inviting the bridesmaid and guests.Both sides present pigs to each other.If the bridegroom receives one pig, then he must present two.In Nu Ethnic Minority Group of Gongshan Dulong-Nu Autonomous County, the bridegroom usually gives certain presents to his parents-in-law and gives a farm implement and a pig to the bride\'s elder brother. Wedding lasts three days and nights
Welcoming the bride is the most lively part of the ceremony.A singer has to be selected to follow the team.Only when he defeats the singer of the bride\'s side who gets in their way can they fetch the bride.
On the wedding day, the bridegroom, followed by two best friends with firewood and caia seed on their shoulders and a jar of wine and some other presents in their hands, set off to fetch the bride.After getting to the bride\'s home, they will be feast on tasty dishes.When the sun rises and the whole village is in the sunshine, the couple will leave.Numerous people cluster round the bride to see her off.Several strong young men with a big pig and a big jar of wine on their shoulders lead the way and at the back are the team escorting the bride with dowries.The bride, wearing beautiful clothes of Nu Ethnic Minority Group and being covered with a piece of colorful cloth on the face, walks in the middle of the party accompanied by some girls.When the party enters the bridegroom\'s village, the people who are waiting there rush to them and toast the helpers.But when the party arrives at the gate, only after the mother\'s brother of the bridegroom and aunt toast them with bamboo wine can the couple go into the yard.
As soon as they enter the yard, the bridegroom\'s side accepts the presents and greets the group warmly.The bridegroom gets hold of his wife\'s hand and leads her to the bridal chamber.At the moment, a man of the escort fires three shots to the sky, which means celebrating their marriage.Others in the escorting group beginning the dance of Nu Ethnic Minority Group, follow them into the room with rhythmic steps, and dance for a lap around the fire.Then a respected old man exprees good wishes to the bride and groom, wishing them to be happy and have dozens of descendents.After that, each member of the escort makes another toast and again until they are flushed and in high spirits.
The wedding ceremony is a party of performing dances and songs.In the house, while playing the pipa and the Jew\'s harp, some boys and girls play the pipa and guozhuang dance joyously.Gathering around the fire, the old people expre good wishes to the couple and sing wedding songs.In the yard, some boys and girls sing wedding songs in response and dance with an agreeable melody.The whole yard is full of joy.The content of their songs is very rich, from the origin of the human being to the life of their ancestors, from the love between boys and girls to the wedding customs.The wedding songs are so long that they are completed several times.At the intervals the singers and the bride and groom eat rice with their hands (the Catching Food in Hand) and then go on singing.Sometimes they will sing until daybreak.On the next morning, each of the guests is served a dish and then they leave happily.
The wedding banquet is the largest one of all the ceremonies.Before the wedding ceremony, the bridegroom goes to the father-in-law\'s with pork and rice to help to chop the wood and plough the farmland.The feast must be wonderful and the site of the feast must be laid out.On the occasion the bride and groom drink the wine together to celebrate their marriage and the girls sprinkle the flour on them, which means good luck and good fortune.
Within the three days after the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are accompanied to go to bed separately by their own maid.The bridesmaid lifts water and cooks on behalf of the bride every day and will be given a present for thanks when she returns home.
According to the traditional customs, the bride and groom can\'t live together in the first three days after marriage and are separately accompanied to sleep in two beds in the bridal chamber by a lad and a girl.On the fourth day, the bridegroom takes his wife to his father-in-law\'s with a pig and a jar of wine to show respect.And not until then can the bridegroom bring his wife home and can the whole wedding ceremony come to an end.
Nu Ethnic Minority Group has a system of monogamy by and large, but there are still many survivals of the primitive marriage.For example, the sub-consanguinity homogeneous marriages are those mostly from the same clans or even the same families.That is to say, all boys and girls who have the same grandparents or even have different family hierarchies, except their natural parents and biological brothers and sisters, can get married.In addition, Nu Ethnic Minority Group remains the system of \"the wife\'s brother marries the husband\'s sister\".In some clans, the head has more than one wife.After marriage, the man separates from his parents and forms a small family.
