CARAOL: Mr.President.The podium is yours.THE PRESIDENT: You can’t say it, but you know it\'s tr-ue.开场音乐是Anna Kendrick的―When I\'m Gone‖，这句话是在玩这个梗，因为奥巴马即将卸任(be gone)。
Good evening, everybody.It is an honor to be here at my last — and perhaps the last — White House Correspondents’ Dinner.You all look great.The end of the Republic has never looked better.I do apologize — I know I was a little late tonight.I was running on C.P.T.— which stands for ―jokes that white people should not make.‖ It’s a tip for you, Jeff.1, C.P.T是指Colored People\'s Time，吐槽黑人被说迟到。
2，反击纽约市长Bill de Blasio此前关于C.P.T的玩笑。Bill de Blasio之前在另一个场合迟到，于是开了一个玩笑I am running on CP Time.结果全场陷入尴尬。
Anyway, here we are.My eighth and final appearance at this unique event.And I am excited.If this material works well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year.Earn me some serious Tubmans.That’s right.
1， 这里吐槽希拉里在高盛(Goldman Sachs)演讲赚了几十万美 元的事情。 2， Tubmans这里指钱，因为Tubmans是20美元纸币上的头像。
My brilliant and beautiful wife, Michelle, is here tonight.She looks so happy to be here.That’s called practice — it’s like learning to do three-minute planks.She makes it look easy now.Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s gue who she will be.But standing here, I can’t help but be reflective, a little sentimental.Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics.In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific.1， 奥巴马用She就是暗指希拉里一定是下届总统。
2，8年前，他想努力改善一下政治环境(the tone of our politics)， 后来的more specific吐槽这个环境其实越来越差了。
Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor, and look at me now.I am gray and grizzled, just counting down the days ’til my death panel.Hillary once questioned whether I’d be ready for a 3 a.m.phone call — now I’m awake anyway because I’ve got to go to the bathroom.I’m up.
全程都在自黑
In fact, somebody recently said to me, Mr.President, you are so yesterday; Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you — he’s so handsome, he’s so charming, he’s the future.And I said, Justin, just give it a rest.I resented that.Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day.The only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me.Take a look.继续自黑自己显老，而Michelle一点没变。 Here we are in 2008.Here we are a few years later.And this one is from two weeks ago.So time paes.In just six short months, I will be officially a lame duck, which means Congre now will flat-out reject my authority.And Republican leaders won’t take my phone calls.And this is going to take some getting used to, it’s really going to — it’s a curve ball.I don’t know what to do with it.
吐槽自己将要下台(lame duck)，大家也越来越不把他当回事了。下面说英国小王子George和他见面时穿着浴袍，就感觉自己被呼了一巴掌。
Of course, in fact, for months now congreional Republicans have been saying there are things I cannot do in my final year.Unfortunately, this dinner was not one of them.But on everything else, it’s another story.And you know who you are, Republicans.In fact, I think we’ve got Republican Senators Tim Scott and Cory Gardner, they’re in the house, which reminds me, security, bar the doors! Judge Merrick Garland, come on out, we’re going to do this right here, right now.It’s like ―The Red Wedding.‖
1.unfortunately在开玩笑其实自己并不想来这场晚宴。
2，吐槽之前提名大法官，共和党迟迟不做反应，所以想bars the door，然后就地解决。
2， The Red wedding是《权利的游戏》里面的梗，看过的都知道 场面有多震撼吧：)。
But it’s not just Congre.Even some foreign leaders, they’ve been looking ahead, anticipating my departure.Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe.That was a slap in the face.A clear breach in protocol.Although while in England I did have lunch with Her Majesty, the Queen, took in a performance of Shakespeare, hit the links with David Cameron — just in case anybody is still debating whether I’m black enough, I think that settles the debate.在吐槽自己是不是being black enough，因为他说的那些活动都是很白人的。 I won’t lie — look, this is a tough transition.It’s hard.Key staff are now starting to leave the White House.Even reporters have left me.Savannah Guthrie, she’s left the White House Pre Corps to host the Today show.Norah O’Donnell left the briefing room to host CBS This Morning.Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.讲Journalism和CNN做对立，吐槽CNN做的不算是新闻。(画面里的Jake Tapper本人表情好尴尬) But the prospect of leaving the White House is a mixed bag.You might have heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week, but I have to give Secret Service credit — they found Michelle, brought her back, she’s safe back at home now.It’s only nine more months, baby.Settle down.
黑Michelle以及迫不及待要离开白宫了。
And yet, somehow, despite all this, despite the churn, in my final year, my approval ratings keep going up.The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.奥巴马承认自己大学时候抽过大麻，这里玩的是这个梗，high在这里是双关，major是大学的专业。
And here’s the thing: I haven’t really done anything differently.So it’s odd.Even my aides can’t explain the rising poll numbers — what has changed, nobody can figure it out.Puzzling.这段开始吐槽共和党，他明明自己没做什么，为什么共和党的支持率上涨。这时候出现了共和党候选人Trump和Ted Cruz的照片，原因显而易见。
Anyway, in this last year I do have more appreciation for those who have been with me on this amazing ride, like one of our finest public servants, Joe Biden.God ble him.Love that guy.I love Joe Biden, I really do.And I want to thank him for his friendship, for his counsel, for always giving it to me straight, for not shooting anybody in the face.Thank you, Joe.小布什的副总统切尼曾开枪误伤别人
Also, I would be remi — let’s give it up for our host, Larry Wilmore.Also known as one of the two black guys who is not Jon Stewart.You’re the South African guy, right? I love Larry.And his parents are here, who are from Evanston, which is a great town.1， 两个black guys的另一个是Trevor，同时也黑了一把囧叔。 2， Trevor才是South African，这里奥巴马假装弄错。 I also would like to acknowledge some of the award-winning reporters that we have with us here tonight.Rachel McAdams.Mark Ruffalo.Liev Schreiber.Thank you all for everything that you’ve done.I’m just joking.As you know, ―Spotlight‖ is a film, a movie about investigative journalists with the resources and the autonomy to chase down the truth and hold the powerful accountable.Best fantasy film since Star Wars.Look — that was maybe a cheap shot.这里其实在向三位获奖的记者致敬，顺便黑了一下现实
I understand the news busine is tough these days, it keeps changing all the time.Every year at this dinner, somebody makes a joke about BuzzFeed, for example, changing the media landscape.And every year, the Washington Post laughs a little bit le hard.Kind of a silence there.Especially at the Washington Post table.吐槽传统媒体收到新媒体的冲击，因此华盛顿邮报对这个梗笑的越来越没底气。 GOP Chairman Reince Priebus is here as well.Glad to see you that you feel that you’ve earned a night off.Congratulations on all your succe.The Republican Party, the nomination proce -– it’s all going great.Keep it up.
反讽，表面上是表扬共和党的工作很好，其实是反讽他们没有积极阻止川普的竞选。 Kendall Jenner is also here.And we had a chance to meet her backstage — she seems like a very nice young woman.I’m not exactly sure what she does, but I am told that my Twitter mentions are about to go through the roof.Kendall Jenner的职业是超模，所以奥巴马的twitter mention才会 暴增。 Helen Mirren is here tonight.I don’t even have a joke here.I just think Helen Mirren is awesome.She’s awesome.
Helen Mirren是好莱坞巨星，本人真的很酷(awesome)啊
Sitting at the same table, I see Mike Bloomberg.Mike, a combative, controversial New York billionaire is leading the GOP primary and it is not you.That’s has to sting a little bit.Although it’s not an entirely fair comparison between you and the Donald.After all, Mike was a big-city mayor.He knows policy in depth.And he’s actually worth the amount of money that he says he is.最后一句话褒奖Bloomberg的目的就是黑川普，因为川普最近大幅夸大自己的真实财富。
What an election season.For example, we’ve got the bright new face of the Democratic Party here tonight –- Mr.Bernie Sanders! There he is — Bernie! Bernie, you look like a million bucks.Or to put it in terms you’ll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of 27 dollars each.给Bernie捐款者的捐款平均是27美元。这个笑话其实引起了很多草根(graroots)的反感，因为他们不可能捐很多钱助选。
A lot of folks have been surprised by the Bernie phenomenon, especially his appeal to young people.But not me, I get it.Just recently, a young person came up to me and said she was sick of politicians standing in the way of her dreams.As if we were actually going to let Malia go to Burning Man this year.That was not going to happen.Bernie might have let her go.Not us.Bernie很受年轻人的喜欢，而且这里透露了奥巴马的女儿Malia将 会推迟一年进入哈佛大学。Burning Man是指火把节，为美国一个著名的反传统狂欢节，感兴趣的朋友可以自己了解一下。
I am hurt, though, Bernie, that you’ve distancing yourself a little from me.I mean, that’s just not something that you do to your comrade.
Comrade是同志，这里吐槽Bernie思想太左，是Communist。另外也是吐槽Bernie思想比较陈旧，和自己比都落伍啦(distance yourself from me)。
Bernie’s slogan has helped his campaign catch fire among young people.―Feel the Bern.‖ Feel the Bern — it’s a good slogan.Hillary’s slogan has not had the same effect.Let’s see this.
1，Feel the Bern是Feel the Burn的谐音，Bernie的竞选口号是Burn New Bern。Bern是Bernie的简称，就像Steven常常被叫成Steve。
2，Trudge是艰难的行走，这里的Hill是暗指希拉里(她名字的前几个字母)，和Bernie对比突出她在吸引年轻人上面比较艰难。
Look, I’ve said how much I admire Hillary’s toughne, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience.You’ve got to admit it, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signed up for Facebook.―Dear America, did you get my poke?‖ ―Is it appearing on your wall?‖ ―I’m not sure I am using this right.Love, Aunt Hillary.‖ It’s not entirely persuasive.前面说Bernie很善于讨好年轻人(appeal to young people)，这里就开始吐槽希拉里想讨好年轻人，但似乎做的很蹩脚，就像―你家刚刚注册了非死不可的亲戚‖一般不怎么又说服力。
Meanwhile, on the Republican side, things are a little more — how should we say this — a little ―more loose.‖ Just look at the confusion over the invitations to tonight’s dinner.Guests were asked to check whether they wanted steak or fish, but instead, a whole bunch of you wrote in Paul Ryan.That’s not an option, people.Steak or fish.You may not like steak or fish — but that’s your choice.
这里steak是指川普，因为川普曾经把旗下的牛排产品以Trump命名。fish是指和川普竞争共和党总统候选人的Ted Cruz，因为Cruz被网友形容张了一张死鱼脸。Paul Ryan是众议院院长，共和党内常常传出呼声，如果川普和Cruz拿不到党内提名需要的票数，就会推举Paul Ryan为总统候选人。
Meanwhile, some candidates aren’t polling high enough to qualify for their own joke tonight.The rules were well-established ahead of time.吐槽某些候选人的支持率低
And then there’s Ted Cruz.Ted had a tough week.He went to Indiana –- Hoosier country –- stood on a basketball court, andcalled the hoop a ―basketball ring.‖ What else is in his lexicon? Baseball sticks? Football hats? But sure, I’m the foreign one.
Ted不接地气，把篮球框(hoop)说成是basketball ring。奥巴马 吐槽他是不是外国人，顺便自黑一下，因为奥巴马因为父亲的原因曾经被说成是出生在肯尼亚。实际上，Ted Cruz才是真正出生在国外的，他出生在加拿大，因此很多人质疑他是不是真的有资格竞选总统。
Well, let me conclude tonight on a more serious note.I want to thank the Washington pre corps, I want to thank Carol for all that you do.The free pre is central to our democracy, and — nah, I’m just kidding! You know I’ve got to talk about Trump! Come on! We weren’t just going to stop there.Come on.感谢了一圈又来一句I’m just kidding，似乎要准备吐槽川普了。
Although I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight.We had so much fun the last time.And it is surprising.You’ve got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no? Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he poibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak — tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What’s he doing?
1，有这么多记者，名人，川普都没来，实在不符合他的行事风格， 吐槽他爱出风头。 3， 吐槽川普喜欢以自己的名字命名他的产品，他用Trump命名了 一款自己的牛排产品为Trump Steak，而且开发的地产项目也往往用Trump命名。
The Republican establishment is incredulous that he is their most likely nominee — incredulous, shocking.They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be President.But, in fairne, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world: Mi Sweden, Mi Argentina, Mi Azerbaijan.吐槽川普喜欢沾花惹草 And there’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable -– and that’s closing Guantanamo.Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.吐槽川普海边的商业产业都被他经营倒闭了
All right, that’s probably enough.I mean, I’ve got more material — no, no, I don’t want to spend too much time on The Donald.Following your lead, I want to show some restraint.Because I think we can all agree that from the start, he’s gotten the appropriate amount of coverage, befitting the seriousne of his candidacy.I hope you all are proud of yourselves.The guy wanted to give his hotel busine a boost, and now we’re praying that Cleveland makes it through July.
吐槽川普之前威胁说如果在七月的共和党党代会(GOP)上，如果他没有赢得总统候选人提名的话共和党将会拥有一个―a rough July‖。
As for me and Michelle, we’ve decided to stay in D.C.for a couple more years.Thank you.This way, our youngest daughter can finish up high school, Michelle can stay closer to her plot of carrots.She’s already making plans to see them every day.Take a look.plot在这里是―种地的田‖，carrots plot就是胡萝卜田，暗示Michelle在他退休后的生活就是种菜。 But our decision has actually presented a bit of a dilemma because, traditionally, Presidents don’t stick around after they’re done.And it’s something that I’ve been brooding about a little bit.Take a look.
Here you go.I am still waiting for all of you to respond to my invitation to connect on LinkedIn.But I know you have jobs to do, which is what really brings us here tonight.I know that there are times that we’ve had differences, and that’s inherent in our institutional roles — it’s true of every President and
his pre corps.But we’ve always shared the same goal –- to root our public discourse in the truth; to open the doors of this democracy; to do whatever we can to make our country and our world more free and more just.And I’ve always appreciated the role that you have all played as equal partners in reaching these goals.你能看到这里也是real厉害，下面基本没有吐槽啦，基本就是感谢的话。
And our free pre is why we once again recognize the real journalists who uncovered a horrifying scandal and brought about some measure of justice for thousands of victims throughout the world.They are here with us tonight –- Sacha Pfeiffer, Mike Rezendes, Walter Robinson, Matt Carroll, and Ben Bradlee, Jr.Please give them a big round of applause.Our free pre is why, once again, we honor Jason Rezaian.As Carol noted, last time this year, we spoke of Jason’s courage as he endured the isolation of an Iranian prison.This year, we see that courage in the flesh and it’s a living testament to the very idea of a free pre, and a reminder of the rising level of danger, and political intimidation, and physical threats faced by reporters overseas.And I can make this commitment that as long as I hold this office, my administration will continue to fight for the release of American journalists held against their will — and we will not stop until they see the same freedom as Jason had.At home and abroad, journalists like all of you engage in the dogged pursuit of informing citizens, and holding leaders accountable, and making our government of the people poible.And it’s an enormous responsibility.And I realize it’s an enormous challenge at a time when the economics of the busine sometimes incentivize speed over depth; and when controversy and conflict are what most immediately attract readers and viewers.The good news is there are so many of you that are pushing against those trends.And as a citizen of this great democracy, I am grateful for that.For this is also a time around the world when some of the fundamental ideals of liberal democracies are under attack, and when notions of objectivity, and of a free pre, and of facts, and of evidence are trying to be undermined.Or, in some cases, ignored entirely.And in such a climate, it’s not enough just to give people a megaphone.And that’s why your power and your responsibility to dig and to question and to counter distortions and untruths is more important than ever.Taking a stand on behalf of what is true does not require you shedding your objectivity.In fact, it is the eence of good journalism.It affirms the idea that the only way we can build consensus, the only way that we can move forward as a country, the only way we can help the world mend itself is by agreeing on a baseline of facts when it comes to the challenges that confront us all.So this night is a testament to all of you who have devoted your lives to that idea, who push to shine a light on the truth every single day.So I want to close my final White House Correspondents’ Dinner by just saying thank you.
I’m very proud of what you’ve done.It has been an honor and a privilege to work side by side with you to strengthen our democracy.And with that, I just have two more words to say -– Obama out.Thank you.
